{"topic":{"id":5575,"title":"求助情感方面","slug":"topic","userId":1047,"categoryId":14,"createdAt":"2023-09-07 08:07:15.83559","bumpedAt":"2023-09-12 05:34:10.61456","views":857,"postsCount":15,"highestPostNumber":17,"likeCount":14,"closed":false,"pinned":false,"pinnedGlobally":false,"pinnedAt":null,"pinnedUntil":null,"isBanner":false,"excerpt":"刚大一，就看不到希望了…除了上课默默坐在角落听讲，就是跑到无人的角落和 gpt 聊各种事情，对分数，保研毫无概念，对目前学习的选修课毫无兴趣（主要是作业和课堂氛围让我不适），又不得不为作业/考试而花费大量时间，疲于奔命。钱院选拔面试没过，社团面试也没过，作业交晚了 5 分钟，被骂，亲人患病，一下子好多事，人生好像没有动力了，不知何去何从，看到别人在卷，心里只有悲哀……有人开导开导我吗？（请不要批判我，关于我发帖寻求慰藉，如果吵到您的眼睛…","deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"isPrivate":false,"isMembersOnly":false,"category":{"id":14,"name":"问答","slug":"qa","color":"f5c211"},"author":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif"},"realAuthor":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif"},"tags":[]},"posts":[{"id":10899,"postNumber":1,"raw":"刚大一，就看不到希望了…除了上课默默坐在角落听讲，就是跑到无人的角落和 gpt 聊各种事情，对分数，保研毫无概念，对目前学习的选修课毫无兴趣（主要是作业和课堂氛围让我不适），又不得不为作业/考试而花费大量时间，疲于奔命。钱院选拔面试没过，社团面试也没过，作业交晚了 5 分钟，被骂，亲人患病，一下子好多事，人生好像没有动力了，不知何去何从，看到别人在卷，心里只有悲哀……有人开导开导我吗？（请不要批判我，关于我发帖寻求慰藉，如果吵到您的眼睛，抱歉我是个 coward）","cooked":"

刚大一，就看不到希望了…除了上课默默坐在角落听讲，就是跑到无人的角落和 gpt 聊各种事情，对分数，保研毫无概念，对目前学习的选修课毫无兴趣（主要是作业和课堂氛围让我不适），又不得不为作业/考试而花费大量时间，疲于奔命。钱院选拔面试没过，社团面试也没过，作业交晚了 5 分钟，被骂，亲人患病，一下子好多事，人生好像没有动力了，不知何去何从，看到别人在卷，心里只有悲哀……有人开导开导我吗？（请不要批判我，关于我发帖寻求慰藉，如果吵到您的眼睛，抱歉我是个 coward）

\n","createdAt":"2023-09-07 08:07:15.909144","updatedAt":"2024-03-30 03:24:21.224776","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":0,"wordCount":218,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[],"wiki":false,"version":2,"publicVersion":2,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":10900,"postNumber":2,"raw":"钱院和社团选拔没过都是小事情，而课程和作业相关的也是大一会有的正常迷茫。而亲人患病这条，确实会带来很大的压力，不过亲人肯定也希望你别过于担心而影响情绪，加油","cooked":"

钱院和社团选拔没过都是小事情，而课程和作业相关的也是大一会有的正常迷茫。而亲人患病这条，确实会带来很大的压力，不过亲人肯定也希望你别过于担心而影响情绪，加油

\n","createdAt":"2023-09-07 08:40:45.130973","updatedAt":"2023-09-07 08:40:45.130973","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":0,"wordCount":78,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":10901,"postNumber":3,"raw":"你说的这些我看着都觉得*好笑*，*好笑*一词不是批判，我的意思是：你觉得重要的东西压根就不重要。比如\n> 钱院选拔面试没过，社团面试也没过\n\n社团就是玩玩的交易，只有你鸽它，没有它鸽你的玩法。\n而钱院选拔，更是无稽之谈。我们当年高考还没玩得多花（比如西安智慧大学，H/Q 的文字游戏），下交分数线极值仅仅相差 10 分，电气和錢班都一样线，`极大值 - 2`，没人觉得錢班人高考分数高就高人一等。事实上这种就差几分而把人分成三六九等的做法极为傻逼，比如什么錢班出国交流钱可以报销。\n\n而孤独更是一种享受，人类社会尔虞我诈，勾心斗角，没玩头。比如我就很后悔大四研究热情最高涨的时候被所谓的好朋友喊出去吃喝玩乐而少看了很多论文，现在回想不过是酒肉朋友罢了，在一块 [spoiler] 孬屌玩 [/spoiler]（脏话：瞎玩）而已。\n\n最理想的状态是始终保持内心的平和，将尘世种种乌七八糟、荒诞不经的事情都看轻，慢慢发现自己的兴趣点。\n从出生到上大学前你不是你，你是父母/老师控制的提线木偶，上大学之后你要找到真正有意义的、可以一生追求的东西，所以我不建议复读，因为又要失去全部自由、回到家对你的控制中。\n在成长的过程中学会分清什么是重要的、什么是不重要的。比如这些没有意义的事情可以少花点心思，应付应付过得去就行了：忙于作业、上课，卷分数绩点、做自己不明白为什么要做的事情。要有策略性地翘课、找到有效的方法考前相对从容地复习保证不挂科。被骂就在心里一笑了之，因为你要在心里明白很多课的老师上课就是糊鬼。\n\n你要是看他人不爽，就在心里默念：放弃助人心理，尊重他人命运。\n\n像是健康部分是由上天注定的，例如百万西安同胞，罹换肺癌的概率就是要显著高于沿海空气好的地方，比如你家旁边有个所谓船舶公司排放含重金属的废水到地下那癌症概率肯定就很高。\n除此之外，不要做伤害身体的事情，否则在患病的时候会后悔，例如要保护好视力，高三学生中 600 度以上近视率高达 1/4。\n生老病死非常正常。","cooked":"

你说的这些我看着都觉得好笑，好笑一词不是批判，我的意思是：你觉得重要的东西压根就不重要。比如

\n
钱院选拔面试没过，社团面试也没过
\n

社团就是玩玩的交易，只有你鸽它，没有它鸽你的玩法。
\n而钱院选拔，更是无稽之谈。我们当年高考还没玩得多花（比如西安智慧大学，H/Q 的文字游戏），下交分数线极值仅仅相差 10 分，电气和錢班都一样线，极大值 - 2，没人觉得錢班人高考分数高就高人一等。事实上这种就差几分而把人分成三六九等的做法极为傻逼，比如什么錢班出国交流钱可以报销。

而孤独更是一种享受，人类社会尔虞我诈，勾心斗角，没玩头。比如我就很后悔大四研究热情最高涨的时候被所谓的好朋友喊出去吃喝玩乐而少看了很多论文，现在回想不过是酒肉朋友罢了，在一块孬屌玩（脏话：瞎玩）而已。

最理想的状态是始终保持内心的平和，将尘世种种乌七八糟、荒诞不经的事情都看轻，慢慢发现自己的兴趣点。
\n从出生到上大学前你不是你，你是父母/老师控制的提线木偶，上大学之后你要找到真正有意义的、可以一生追求的东西，所以我不建议复读，因为又要失去全部自由、回到家对你的控制中。
\n在成长的过程中学会分清什么是重要的、什么是不重要的。比如这些没有意义的事情可以少花点心思，应付应付过得去就行了：忙于作业、上课，卷分数绩点、做自己不明白为什么要做的事情。要有策略性地翘课、找到有效的方法考前相对从容地复习保证不挂科。被骂就在心里一笑了之，因为你要在心里明白很多课的老师上课就是糊鬼。

你要是看他人不爽，就在心里默念：放弃助人心理，尊重他人命运。

像是健康部分是由上天注定的，例如百万西安同胞，罹换肺癌的概率就是要显著高于沿海空气好的地方，比如你家旁边有个所谓船舶公司排放含重金属的废水到地下那癌症概率肯定就很高。
\n除此之外，不要做伤害身体的事情，否则在患病的时候会后悔，例如要保护好视力，高三学生中 600 度以上近视率高达 1/4。
\n生老病死非常正常。

\n","createdAt":"2023-09-07 08:58:30.263559","updatedAt":"2024-03-17 13:11:04.558706","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":2,"likeCount":4,"wordCount":777,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[{"reaction":"❤️","count":4,"users":[{"id":76,"username":"Esther","name":"Esther"},{"id":93,"username":"copi","name":null},{"id":346,"username":"hoist","name":null},{"id":2283,"username":"lxh","name":"我是无敌大王"}],"hasReacted":false}],"wiki":false,"version":2,"publicVersion":2,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":10908,"postNumber":5,"raw":"谢谢您能回复我，我能理解您说我可笑，也对自己的想法感到可笑，我一直都在逃避，逃避家长，逃避学习，逃避现实，逃避应该承担的责任，衷心地感谢您，祝您身体健康，事业有成！","cooked":"

谢谢您能回复我，我能理解您说我可笑，也对自己的想法感到可笑，我一直都在逃避，逃避家长，逃避学习，逃避现实，逃避应该承担的责任，衷心地感谢您，祝您身体健康，事业有成！

\n","createdAt":"2023-09-07 11:28:59.256311","updatedAt":"2024-03-30 03:24:21.304623","replyToPostNumber":3,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":0,"wordCount":82,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":10909,"postNumber":6,"raw":"请不要劝我 re，我珍惜生命，只是对自身现状及前景感到悲观","cooked":"

请不要劝我 re，我珍惜生命，只是对自身现状及前景感到悲观

\n","createdAt":"2023-09-07 11:43:53.916649","updatedAt":"2024-03-30 03:24:21.382392","replyToPostNumber":4,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":1,"wordCount":26,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[{"reaction":"❤️","count":1,"users":[{"id":1381,"username":"greyishsong","name":"greyishsong"}],"hasReacted":false}],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":10912,"postNumber":7,"raw":"这就是价值观单一的学校的悲哀，学校给你定个“分数，保研，钱班”的目标，所有人都玩命冲一个目标，总有人无法实现愿望。你可以先花时间想想自己想要什么，这些东西值不值得你伤心。随便说一个，如果你大四毕业有一个愿意和你去一个城市工作的女朋友，你就比学校绝大多数人强了","cooked":"

这就是价值观单一的学校的悲哀，学校给你定个“分数，保研，钱班”的目标，所有人都玩命冲一个目标，总有人无法实现愿望。你可以先花时间想想自己想要什么，这些东西值不值得你伤心。随便说一个，如果你大四毕业有一个愿意和你去一个城市工作的女朋友，你就比学校绝大多数人强了

\n","createdAt":"2023-09-07 13:02:02.225044","updatedAt":"2023-09-07 13:08:04.101078","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":0,"wordCount":129,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[{"reaction":"😉️","count":1,"users":[{"id":93,"username":"copi","name":null}],"hasReacted":false}],"wiki":false,"version":2,"publicVersion":2,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":464,"username":"wxystudio","name":"studio","avatarUrl":null,"admin":false,"moderator":true,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":10923,"postNumber":8,"raw":"（帖子已被作者删除）","cooked":"

（帖子已被作者删除）

\n","createdAt":"2023-09-07 14:35:41.757973","updatedAt":"2023-10-09 14:04:45.745076","replyToPostNumber":3,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":0,"wordCount":10,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[],"wiki":false,"version":2,"publicVersion":2,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":259,"username":"ReturnDream","name":"保密","avatarUrl":null,"admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":10932,"postNumber":10,"raw":"应该是引用的内容有藏话，而 john 本身是 mod 可以消举办 :laughing:","cooked":"

应该是引用的内容有藏话，而 john 本身是 mod 可以消举办 😆

\n","createdAt":"2023-09-07 14:45:31.405051","updatedAt":"2024-03-17 13:05:21.5492","replyToPostNumber":9,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":0,"wordCount":24,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":10937,"postNumber":11,"raw":"做自己喜欢的，觉得有意义的事，少管别人怎么看","cooked":"

做自己喜欢的，觉得有意义的事，少管别人怎么看

\n","createdAt":"2023-09-07 15:25:42.406624","updatedAt":"2023-09-07 15:25:42.406624","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":0,"wordCount":22,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":53,"username":"Rachel","name":null,"avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/48/ae/48ae0d54cf2d42d31c7886b6d070d7ad42c6c0519f22149410202cb3d41cd731.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":10961,"postNumber":12,"raw":"其实都很正常，每个人都有迷茫的时候，更别说刚从中学过渡到大学的阶段。楼上的人的各种说法其实也都有道理，但归根结底都是小马过河，每个人都有自己在意的事情和相对不在意的事情，也没有必要觉得自己相信的也就是别人应该相信的；更别说，成长最有效的办法就是去经历去体验，而非听他人三言两语。\n\n在你觉得因为迷茫而些许焦虑甚至痛苦的时候，反而意味着这是一件很好的事，因为客观上这些不好的体验会促进你去思考自己的处境，会开始直面内心深处本原的自己，会开始思考什么是自己真正想要的，什么又不是。所有这些，都不是看一两个鸡汤或者毒鸡汤能真切体会到的，只有负面情绪才会创造这样去认识自己的机会。\n\n就好比每个人小时候都有特别多的愿望，都认为自己长大了会是万能的人。但随着时间的推移，都会慢慢意识到自己的能力很有限。但讽刺的是，中学时代成绩好的人反而缺少了这样一份体悟，会认为仿佛学习好就能心想事成。所以你这些想法只不过是在弥补成长过程中缺失的那么一环而已。这一环就是认识到很多事即使努力也不一定能做到，最终就是图一个心安不悔而已。这一环就是从疯狂做加法转而开始懂得做减法——改变世界很难，改变身边的人和事也很难，那就聚焦于自己的感兴趣的事，久了就会不以物喜不以己悲，很多事情都能看得很淡，也就能更加专注于自己真正想做的事，即便做得相对不那么好也可以接受，因为过程是快乐的，这样就是一个良性的循环。\n\n所以，坦然面对自己的心慌和无助，结合自己的成长经历和特点，大胆去摸索出一条适合自己的道路即可。祝好！","cooked":"

其实都很正常，每个人都有迷茫的时候，更别说刚从中学过渡到大学的阶段。楼上的人的各种说法其实也都有道理，但归根结底都是小马过河，每个人都有自己在意的事情和相对不在意的事情，也没有必要觉得自己相信的也就是别人应该相信的；更别说，成长最有效的办法就是去经历去体验，而非听他人三言两语。

在你觉得因为迷茫而些许焦虑甚至痛苦的时候，反而意味着这是一件很好的事，因为客观上这些不好的体验会促进你去思考自己的处境，会开始直面内心深处本原的自己，会开始思考什么是自己真正想要的，什么又不是。所有这些，都不是看一两个鸡汤或者毒鸡汤能真切体会到的，只有负面情绪才会创造这样去认识自己的机会。

就好比每个人小时候都有特别多的愿望，都认为自己长大了会是万能的人。但随着时间的推移，都会慢慢意识到自己的能力很有限。但讽刺的是，中学时代成绩好的人反而缺少了这样一份体悟，会认为仿佛学习好就能心想事成。所以你这些想法只不过是在弥补成长过程中缺失的那么一环而已。这一环就是认识到很多事即使努力也不一定能做到，最终就是图一个心安不悔而已。这一环就是从疯狂做加法转而开始懂得做减法——改变世界很难，改变身边的人和事也很难，那就聚焦于自己的感兴趣的事，久了就会不以物喜不以己悲，很多事情都能看得很淡，也就能更加专注于自己真正想做的事，即便做得相对不那么好也可以接受，因为过程是快乐的，这样就是一个良性的循环。

所以，坦然面对自己的心慌和无助，结合自己的成长经历和特点，大胆去摸索出一条适合自己的道路即可。祝好！

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多进行一些新的尝试，找自己真正感兴趣的事情

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找事情干，哪怕就是去图书馆看看闲书，在班级交性格好的朋友

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加油，可以多看看书啊，比如有关你专业知识的历史书（数学史、物理史之类 de）在 calm down 的同时还能收获些知识

\n","createdAt":"2023-09-09 02:40:13.96824","updatedAt":"2023-09-09 02:40:13.96824","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":0,"wordCount":48,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":30,"username":"一只玉米人","name":"玉米🌽","avatarUrl":"/uploads/blob/14/96/14961aeaa46ccbb75a61eec0c27b26e74fb5d1c00ccdcbbe898ca9ea37087dd6.svg","admin":false,"moderator":true,"signatureRaw":"*年月擦身过，暂且问，会更好吗？*","signatureCooked":"

年月擦身过，暂且问，会更好吗？

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大一是这样的，我回想起我的大一上，当时我也不知道我每天在干什么。

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别进钱院，等你保研的时候就知道这才是对的了

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